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All posts for the month September, 2013

I think the universe is trying to tell me to stop something.

Published September 29, 2013 by Britt

 

The problem is, I’m not a hundred percent sure what it wants, because it’s telling me in a series of strange and unusual events. I can’t help but not explain them here, because maybe my lovely readers will show that this points to the Illuminati or something.

 

Strange Event #1: 

This event took place on Thursday. I was walking down the hall to a debate meeting with a friend from my Oratory and Debate class, and I was all dressed up for a speech (Red Wedding. I created a convert for reading one of the biggest Game of Thrones spoilers. And I did a great job of it.), in heels. My friend Oreo sees a red balloon on the ground, and the child in me is screaming to pop it. So I run over and try to stomp it in my heels. It won’t hold still, so I pick it up and decide to pop it when I get to my debate meeting.

While I’m holding it, I notice its unusual shape, and it’s the tie part that is way too circular and large that clues me in.

That balloon is a blown up condom.

Of course this makes me drop it and hold my hands apart in a state of shock for the remainder of the walk. Oreo is laughing at me, I’m kind of laughing and panicking because I honestly have no idea how to react besides finding some form of hand wash.  This also led to the many questions of “WHY?” on the way to the meeting. I was so freaked out, and now it’s really funny. Sketchy, but funny.

 

 

Strange Event #2:

Honestly, this was probably the worst of the three and it’s still pretty horrifying. I’m sitting in English class around 8am on Friday and I receive a snarky face picture text from my little sister. I of course hate having my sister text me anything because she never sends anything of value, so I tell her not to text me. She, in turn, sends me a video of her being a brat that I didn’t watch, and a picture of her crotch.

Several seconds of internal panicking and deleting the conversation entirely, I texted my mom about it because that is not okay, yo, and she takes the iPod away and tells me she’s handling. Nothing for the rest of the day until after school, when she comes to get me. She asks to see the conversation (which I deleted like a normal person would) and says the picture isn’t in the string, just a blown up picture of her tongue. The fact we don’t know her password into her iPod makes them think I’m crazy and don’t know what a vagina looks like. The fact I don’t look at porn or my own or anyone else’s because I’m straight does not mean I don’t know what a vagina looks like.

Mom gets into her iPod eventually, and shows me the conversation. She deleted the picture from the messages. The logic in my brain tells me to tell my mom to check her pictures, and WHOOMP THERE IT IS. Monster Butt receives a stern talking to and parental controls, and my phone number got deleted off her iPod. No more of that crap.

But should I mysteriously disappear and reappear on a sex offender list due to possession of child pornography, this is why. Because I have an awful little sister.

 

Strange Event #3:

I have never burned any popcorn or anything in a microwave before, so it came as a big surprise this morning to go heat up a cinnamon roll for 45 seconds, and it feels hard and a little cold. Then I put it back in for 30 more seconds, and the inside is black and the whole thing feels like a rock. I had expected the universe to come at me with some penis pictures sent to my phone, given how the last two were, and of course a burned cinnamon roll was more unexpected than the last two. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, I just kind of give up now.

 

So I guess this quote is now relevant.

“I’m a firm believer in Karma, and I think this situation was attracted into my life because it was supposed to be a huge learning lesson for me to grow and expand as a spiritual human being. I see myself being like an Angelina Jolie but even stronger, pushing even harder for the universe and for peace and for the health of our planet. God didn’t give me these talents and looks to just sit around being a model or being famous. I want to lead a huge charity organization. I want to lead a country, for all I know.”  ~Alexis Neiers

 

Guys, I have a confession. I’m secretly Emma Watson.

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It’s only Tuesday, and I’ve had a terrible week.

Published September 17, 2013 by Britt

Let it end, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeee???

Let’s start with Monday.

Monday I wake up early because Mom had to go to a meeting early and I wanted to say goodbye to her. I had a bad dream that night, and I slept terribly. But I still did it. She left at 4:10, I went to school. While perusing the internet and checking my roleplays, I discover overnight one of my major forums was hacked by Syrians spreading the word of the regime. Uggghhhh. I could rant about Syria right now. I’m not. I have links to my personal forum on that site, so I’ve been dealing with admins trying to beef up security and figure out what they do. They’re not even from Syria, says a guy on the big forum who ran an IP, they’re in Israel. If you’re spreading the word of the regime, go live in Syria. Idiot.

Then I go to theatre class and I receive a notification that says “Hey, a shooting happened in the Washington Navy Yard.”

Hey, guess where my mom was at this point???

That’s right, the meeting was at the very same shipyard. I was one of the first people to send a text trying to figure out if she was alright (Favorite daughter? Favorite daughter.). The meeting was cancelled, she never even made it on the base. Here’s the rundown she basically gave me:

The building that it had been in is one of many buildings cell phones aren’t allowed into. You have to lock them up. The shooter was in an atrium firing down. One of her coworkers (as were three or four more. All present and accounted for, yay.), one she was supposed to meet with, was in that building. She was on the phone with him when the gunshots started, and he hung up. Mom and her other coworker who drove her up started walking around trying to get into the base, but eventually police told her to go back and find somewhere safe. Somewhere safe meant a company office nearby. While she was hanging out there, she texted everyone who knew she’d be there. I wasn’t satisfied and relaxed until I got a text from her saying she was on her way home. No one endangers my mother and gets away with it. Nobody.

Mom ended up making it home alright, and I gave her a big hug when she got home. I’m glad she only got off with five blisters from walking around in red heels. Best mom ever.

Even weirder, the shooter was on the same contract as my dad. He’s actually been here on one of the bases, or so said my dad’s boss to him. So freaking weird. If Newtown felt close, this was closer.

Today, after all that stress, I was so, so, so, tired. I felt like crap, I spent most of the day wanting to go home. I also wanted caffeine. I had none this morning, and it showed. I overslept, had to dress up, had to sit through my harder classes, and go driving before getting my butt to a job interview for a car wash. I’ve wanted to punch so many people today because their voices drove me nuts. Two people at the interview kept asking questions that were completely irrelevant, another in my stat class won’t stop talking and saying things he thinks are funny but really are just stupid and irrelevant. I told him to shut up under my breath and he turns around and says “Whoa, this girl is violent.”

Let’s ask Merriam Webster what “violent” means.

stupididiot

 

Are any of those three definitions “whispering ‘shut up’ under your breath’? I didn’t think so. Now I’m half tempted to put myself into a coma in stat class so I don’t have to listen to him talk and breathe at the same time. He’s a waste of oxygen and the reason we don’t have the forever puppy. Science is wasting money on stupid people like him.

Also, I got yelled at by some random lady today for trying to get into an office building to see my mother in her office. She was in a meeting, so she couldn’t bring me in, so I tried asking nicely for her to let me in and see her, offered to show her the texts and everything, but she’s all “nope not our policy try again later.” I had to knock on one of her coworker’s windows to get her to let me in.

On the bright side, I had the president of a company make me coffee. Because I needed coffee. And a vacation.

Reviews of a Bibliophile: Insurgent by Veronica Roth

Published September 14, 2013 by Britt

Summary: One choice can transform you—or it can destroy you. But every choice has consequences, and as unrest surges in the factions all around her, Tris Prior must continue trying to save those she loves—and herself—while grappling with haunting questions of grief and forgiveness, identity and loyalty, politics and love.

Tris’s initiation day should have been marked by celebration and victory with her chosen faction; instead, the day ended with unspeakable horrors. War now looms as conflict between the factions and their ideologies grows. And in times of war, sides must be chosen, secrets will emerge, and choices will become even more irrevocable—and even more powerful. Transformed by her own decisions but also by haunting grief and guilt, radical new discoveries, and shifting relationships, Tris must fully embrace her Divergence, even if she does not know what she may lose by doing so.

It’s been a while since I read this book, so I don’t quite remember the details. Please forgive mistakes.

I’m so excited for the Divergent movie. You don’t understand. They better not make this another Percy Jackson. I started reading this series from a recommendation by Dinosaur. I think it’s his second favorite series after The Hunger Games.  Insurgent was just as good as the first book, but very different. I much enjoyed it, although I usually read each book in this series in about a day. Dinosaur is really surprised by this. It’s a combination of fast reading, good pacing and plot, and large font.

The events of this book definitely shape things for the third book. The ending makes me incredibly excited for the third book, leaves you with a good cliffhanger. I also like the fact there’s a severe lack of a stereotypical love triangle. That seems to be what the modern teen literature has to be about nowadays, and it’s definitely a fresh face in teen literature. Can’t wait for Allegiant!

Also, pretty covers. Love it.

★★★★ Four stars.

Days of the Week: A Rundown of Why I’m Tired

Published September 13, 2013 by Britt

Okay, this is going to cover a lot of things that have happened the past few days. Bear with me, they aren’t quite that related. We’ll take it on a day-by-day basis.

Tuesday

Tuesday was the day for theatre auditions. The play we’re doing is Night of the Living Dead. Zombies. Yep, zombies. Spoiler alert: Everyone dies. I came to the auditions feeling excited but nervous. My first reading was of a doctor, and it didn’t go very well. I felt nervous and I don’t think my voice was loud enough. But we were allowed to do second readings, and based off of what I saw, I picked a scene and did the second reading of it.

We did zombie improvs next, which was interesting because we performed somewhat everyday tasks (At least stuff you know how to do, like play tennis) like a zombie would. That was really fun, despite me smacking myself in the face. Kind of a lot, to be honest.

Afterward was the second reading. I was Barbara, and I did the funny scene with her brother who trips and falls, bashes his head on a headstone, and dies. This one was way, way, way better, and I felt confident I’d get at least a part. Not necessarily a part I auditioned for (someone else auditioned and was 9001x better. She ended up getting it.), but a part.

I ended up not getting anything. Not even a lineless zombie. My friend that I auditioned with didn’t get anything either, but her boyfriend did. I’ll still try to help out with the show by doing work calls, since Avenger Jordan is directing it, but it still was disappointing. My friend (can’t think of an appropriate nickname for her… Oh! Shoelace!) and I are coping by saying we were too beautiful to die such horrible and graphic deaths. Hey, if it works, it works.

Wednesday

Get off the road, people! I’m taking Behind the Wheel! My teacher is a crazy lady in a mumu. It’s pretty funny. My partner is a guy I know, we don’t talk much but he’s pretty nice. He’s got a really loud laugh.  I really like the teacher, more than I had thought. She bought us cookies today because we’re the good kids. It’s surprising because we’re both very weird, can get very loud, but it’s pretty quiet when we’re driving.

But this teacher is incredibly hard to find. Every time I go looking for her in her closet/office, I don’t find her. I had to shove my form in the door to turn it into her. But I got it, and we were told to start Wednesday after school, every other A-day. That was a problem, because debate was that afternoon. I tried to reschedule it to Thursday instead, but she glared at me and said “When would you like your license?” so I quickly agreed.

Which meant I had to tell my debate coach. He wasn’t pleased, and insisted I bring him a note. So I brought him a note. Now I’m one of few that does what they’re told. I ended being back before the buses, so I got the information I needed later. I’m actually a halfway decent driver. Better than I could be.

I drove on a major road today, and I was pretty proud of myself since I didn’t crash. I still need to relax. It’s pretty great.

Thursday

Extra, Extra! Journalism! I got my beat assignment for the back to school edition of the newspaper, which was to interview new teachers. Except there are 14 of them, including a guidance counselor. My partner and I agreed to cover seven each. In one day. I have no study block. I was supposed to meet with the counselor today (I actually went and talked to her this morning), but I never got pulled out of class for the interview. I got one covered today, my Oratory and Debate teacher. It was an interesting interview that I should have enough material for her, but I have no idea how to cover the last few, especially since the interviews are due Monday morning. Ugh.

Mel taught me Turkish swear words. I love it. I can say things and my parents won’t know. I also spent a crap ton of hours doing homework, including working on a project assigned on the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. Who does that?! And flash cards, no less?! 71 of them! SEVENTY. ONE. UGH.

Also, Dad’s birthday. Happy birthday, Dad.

Friday

Ugggghhhh it’s nine days into the school year and I need a vacation. I’m tired and want to die already. Wake me up when September ends. I’ve been neglecting my Tumblr, so my queues need to be restocked.

We went to my sister’s gymnastics class and the crazy HOA lady rescheduled her strange daughter’s gymnastics class to hang out with her only friend: my sister. Mom can’t stand the woman, and therefore she was incredibly irritated to see her there. Every Friday now. Poor Mom. We made jokes on our phones. One of our neighbors called her Grimace.

I went to Dave and Busters for Dad’s birthday and won a bunch of candy with Mel. Candy party tonight. Also, really good food. They had these yummy potato poppers that they put with spicy ketchup. Good stuff.  I also had behind the wheel today and now I’m super tired. I need sugar, especially since I’m babysitting tomorrow. Party hard.

 

P.S. I still have a ton of books to review… I’m behind on that. Sorry guys. ): It may be a stream of them coming within the next several days. I’ll probably make up some kind of queue for them. If I can figure out if WordPress can do that kind of thing.

Well, time to go repaint my finger nails then try writing some more blog posts and knock out some of these reviews. Party on, Wayne!

Back to School… ugh.

Published September 9, 2013 by Britt

Well, yes, I have been neglecting this blog. I apologize. The reason being the fact I had a crap ton of summer assignments to do. I hate summer assignments, but I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sounds they make as they go by (Douglas Adams, FYI). This summer, I had to do:

  • Five essays
  • Eight reading guides
  • Watch a documentary
  • Page of math
  • Three articles
  • Packet of math
  • Read/journal three books

I had procrastinated, well, most of it. I hated the last two or three weeks of summer given how I had to cram it all in. Most of it was incredibly tedious and made me want to stab myself in the face. Repeatedly.

Anyway, once I had it all done, it was suddenly the first day of school. No fun. I wore this great green sweater with arm cutouts, and red Chuck Taylor high tops a la David Tennant with a pair of jeans. Our schedule is weird and is broken into two different days, four classes a day. Combined with a modified schedule where lunch is stuck into third block for 30 minutes, school was extended as well.

A Day:

A1: AP English

A2: AP Environmental Science

A3: Financial Management

A4: AP Statistics

B Day

B1: Journalism

B2: Theatre

B3: AP United States History

B4: Oratory and Debate

First day I had my A day classes, generally good but Finance is so. dang. boring. It’s a graduation requirement now, a check-the-box class, and I hate check-the-box classes. They’re tedious. At least I have friends in that class so it isn’t as dreary as it could be. I also made a friend in my AP Environmental (APES) class. APES? More like AP Humor. And my English teacher is a Doctor Who fan, which makes me incredibly happy. I have more classes with Dinosaur this year, which is going to be fun so we can make strange looks at each other.

Second day was B day classes, and generally, those are cake. I’m excited for Oratory and Debate, which is good practice for debate. I also think I’m going to be auditioning for one of the school’s plays, directed by Avenger Jordan, Night of the Living Dead. I did a bit of Googling on it and I kind of want to be Karen, who basically becomes a zombie and eats her parents. Like a boss. I get to watch plays now as a requirement, which is going to be fun. APUSH is cake and I’m going to like this class. I’m a history buff, and Government got on my nerves because it was so dry. Journalism, however, is going to be amazing. We’re going to try to get a school newspaper started.

So, now that I’m back to school and doing homework, posts will probably be infrequent. BUT, here are some tips on surviving high school:

  • Join activities. It makes you more friends.
  • Make friends with the people on your school bus. They know where you live. They can TP or egg your house if they hate you.
  • Look presentable. At least brush your hair and put on some form of lip gloss in the morning (if you’re a girl. Or if you’re a guy and want to do that, I respect your life choices and you reach for the stars.). Don’t look like a bum.
  • Wear what you want. You don’t have to wear what’s “in” because what’s “in” is most likely garbage. My rule of thumb is “If you don’t know how to put it on, it isn’t for you.” Also, no handwashes or dry clean only because that is no fun to deal with.
  • Do your homework. Your grades seriously will suffer and it’s hard to get back on your feet after that. I know that’s cheesy, but trust me. It sucks if you don’t.
  • Learn the lingo/slang. I had to tell Mel (Turkish exchange student) not to say “turkey” (the meat) in Turkish because it’s “kush.” Yes, that kush. Also, I went into my sophomore year not knowing what the word “ratchet” meant and I looked like an idiot when I asked.
  • If you’re a junior, make it count. This is the year you have to get your act together and look amazing for college.
  • Don’t judge someone based off of their taste in music. Unless they’re some crazy Belieber/Directioner/Mahomie. Then you can judge them all you want.

That’s it for today, I think. Tomorrow is NotLD auditions, so I think I’ll let you know how that went afterward. And then Wednesday is the debate interest meetings, which is going to be great which means travel. Get ready for fun stuff! Happy school year or not!

How was your first day of school? Any wacky stories? Anything remotely interesting? Think you’ll enjoy your year? Tell me in the comments!

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